The Difference Between Leadership And Spirituality
Nov 30
Some argue that this mass exodus is already happening. Maybe people see/hear more than we dare admit. Fewer and fewer people are attending church as time goes on. Despite our best tactics to get them to come, people continue to be turned off to church.
As a person who has served on staff at a few churches, I can’t say I’m entirely surprised. As much “junk” as lay people see when they rise to leadership roles, often staff members see even more.
Some of the things that seem innocent enough to congregants, if you were on staff at a church, you might feel differently.
In my last blog post, I lamented over the way most churches are run: either with a government atmosphere or a business atmosphere. As a staff person who has served in both environments to a degree, I feel I can confidently say that neither atmosphere is spiritually healthy, even though it may appear so to many of the congregants.
While it may look good to the congregant that their church is bringing in new visitors, that many high-quality programs/ministries are being implemented, and that people in the church have a positive vibe about their church and their pastors, etc–I would caution people that they may be making presumptions that are not warranted.
My goal is not to be paranoid or make others paranoid, but I do feel that I’ve heard/seen quite a bit in the church world up to this point. Not only me, but other leaders see it as well. I think if your average staff person were to feel comfortable opening up to you about what they have endured during their tenure, you may have a very different view of your church.
How can I say this? Because not only have I endured quite a number of things, but it seems all the friends I’ve made who serve at local churches have similar frustrations as I do. Not only this, but it has been my privilege to attend conventions geared for youth pastors, and the same themes are recurrent through the masses who participate. This is not some isolated personal experience of mine, it may very well be an epidemic.
While many of the frustrations out there deal with conflicts that arise between staff members and members of the church (which are to be expected), the ones that are the most disillusioning for church staff members deal with issues relating to the senior pastor, or others in leadership in the church.
As Mike Yaconelli (the founder of Youth Specialties, a company devoted to youth ministry) often shared, when he first started in youth ministry, he had much excitement about being able to work side-by-side with a pastor. In his eyes, what could be better than to become close to such a spiritual person and glean from their wisdom? After all, who is the first person you want to turn to when you have a spiritual need that seems bigger than you? For most people, it’s their pastor. Imagine being able to have access to this person, and for that person to pour their life, their spiritual walk, into you?
Yaconelli shared how that sentiment quickly changed. The staff person quickly realizes that while the pastor looks like a pastor on Sunday mornings from 11 am – 12 pm, the rest of the time, he operates as a CEO. (The matter is greatly confounded when he is a lousy CEO, but that isn’t the point I’m trying to make here.) Even if he is a successful CEO, he is often little more than that.
My point is to caution the congregant from believing all he/she sees/hears from the pastor on Sunday mornings. Perhaps much of it is a performance, and not genuine. Let me give you some examples:
According to a study from a recent pastor’s conference, 57% of pastors surveyed said that if they could, they would leave their church for a better place to go, including a secular job. (In another study, 50% said they would leave the ministry for a secular job, but feel they don’t have any other viable option for a career.) So when a pastor on Sunday morning says there’s no other place they’d rather be, and portrays a positive spin on how incredible their church is, know that over half of them would leave if they felt they could. The average congregant doesn’t know this, but the people who work on staff probably wouldn’t be surprised by this statistic.
This same survey found that 77% of the pastors surveyed felt they did not have a good marriage. 72% said they only read their Bibles when it comes to studying for their sermon. (Another study showed the number to be 70%.) Only 38% said they read the Bible for devotions and personal study. 71% say they are burned out and battle depression beyond normal fatigue. 26% said they have personal devotions on a regular basis and feel adequately spiritually fed. 30% said they had an affair at one point in their lives with one of their parishioners (either one-time or ongoing). (In another study, 40% said had an affair since starting their ministry, whether it was with a congregant or not.) 23% said they felt happy and content on a regular basis with who they are in Christ, in their church, and in their home.
This survey was done among Evangelical pastors, not mainline churches.
Of course, surveys can often be made to say whatever you want them to say, but it’s hard to dispute there is a problem here. More validity can be attributed to these numbers as you get to know people who work on staff at churches. They can often tell you that churches are not the haven of spirituality they appear to be, because pastors are not the people of spirituality they present themselves to be on Sunday mornings. There is a difference between being in leadership and being a truly spiritual person. The average congregant thinks their pastor excels at both.
Francis Chan spoke recently at the Southern Baptist Pastors’ Convention. In his sermon, he lamented over how the job of being a pastor has in some ways hurt the genuineness of his relationship with God. Things that look like he is being “spiritual” are actually clouded with the motivation of trying to grow a church. He recalled how when he was in high school, he called up all the seniors in his school to tell them that Jesus loved them, simply because he loved Jesus so much and wanted all of them to know about Him. Today, he finds himself far away from that simplicity of devotion to Jesus. The things he does for Christ conveniently are things that would benefit his church, and thus his career.
I can personally relate. This month, I’m encouraging our church to invite their neighbors to church for the Christmas season. This seems to be a time of the year when unchurched people consider attending church, and if they were invited, they might actually come! So I told my church that our family has decided to bake cookies for our neighbors, introduce ourselves to them (because we just moved here a couple of months ago), and invite them to our church. I encouraged our church to think of a creative way that they can invite their neighbors too. But part of me wonders…if I weren’t a pastor and were just attending some church, would I be baking cookies for my neighbors and inviting them to church with me this month? Why am I doing this really?
I think a large reason why pastors find themselves in the spiritual state they are in is because of a “business-oriented” system that pervades the church. In some ways, pastors are the victim of this. In this regard, I feel pity, not judgment toward them. Being a pastor is a very difficult job, and most people don’t realize all that comes with the responsibility. Yet, in another way, pastors are the perpetrators of this system too. They are the ones who are in the best position to change things. Of course, being daring enough to try to change things may very well cost them their job, but we are supposed to be concerned with the kingdom of God first. It’s what we preach to our parishioners.
I like that Francis Chan admits this. He admits that he has done his part to create this American church culture that promotes professionalism as well as many other business-oriented concepts that should not have its place in the church. His journey of faith is presently calling him to leave the successful church he started and find a small hole somewhere to regain that authenticity and serve in a place where he is not recognized as a Christian “star.” And to start all over from the ground up and build a church that more closely reflects Scripture, instead of what modern churches say you need to grow a church. I think there are other pastors out there who feel the same thing. The question is, are we willing to be daring enough to step out and follow these leadings that seem counter-intuitive to growing our own church? Maybe the business model has us focused on making our church successful when we should be more concerned about simply building the kingdom of God? For example, what if we chose to invest heavily in other worthy churches in our town, instead of our own? Are we willing to do whatever it takes–even lose our job–for the sake of being faithful to Christ in the midst of a church culture that is often ambivalent–or sometimes even opposed–to the biblical principles of true spirituality?
I think one of the problems a person experiences when joining a church staff for the first time is extreme disillusionment. You don’t expect a job to be perfect, but somehow you expect a job in the church to be a kind, sensitive environment. This is how I felt when I married you and suddenly became aware that church staffs are also filled with humans, and that they are vulnerable to all the same pitfalls that secular workplace employees are. When I married you, it was a shock to me how different working for a church was than how I thought it would be. In some ways I felt like I lost a pastor. My pastor was now, primarily, my husband’s boss!
Wow. I guess I should’nt be shocked, but those statistics are scarry. It let’s you know that we are not the only one that face these struggles, everybody does, and a great deal of us are hypocrites. How do we turn off the world, and follow God? Even if we knew, would we do it?
Mike, thanks for chiming in! Your question is part of the reason I started this blog. I’m hoping that by airing out some of my thoughts and hearing others’ responses, I will move closer to God and further from this world. I think you’re right that I probably know what to do, but am scared to do it. I have found that by just talking about these things and bringing them out in the open, it has helped me to be a little more bold about stepping out in faith, even when I’m scared…
I just came across this post through Facebook’s wonderful “previous posts” feature. Interesting read. I am truly appalled and terrified by the statistics you cited. I mean you’re referring to idolatry, lying, adultery–breaking MAJOR commandments–in addition to serious depression, lack of commitment to something as basic as daily prayer/Bible reading, and “I hate my job and wish I could leave.”
What kind of support do you as a pastor need from your church family and good friends to help you steer clear of all these temptations? And more than just avoid temptation, also live a rich and abundant life and truly enjoy and be encouraged through your work? What can we all do to help? I realize a lot is up to you, like only you can decide to pray and read the Bible and set up certain boundaries. But what can the rest of us do to support you? I really truly want to know.
Great questions. Here are a few suggestions that initially come to my mind:
1. Don’t put pastors on a pedestal. They are merely humans, like anyone else. Being appalled and terrified by the statistics just makes pastors who deal with such things keep quiet about their struggles. I think most pastors wish they could be real with their congregation, but their congregation won’t let them. Remember that great people of faith in the Bible also struggled with things such as adultery, murder, deceit, etc.
2. I think much of a pastor’s burnout comes from striving to move their church forward, but seeing very little fruit. A lot of prayer and energy goes into trying to get people to put Christ first, but that very rarely happens. I think what makes a pastor most happy is seeing people truly live out their faith and growing.
3. I would hasten to say that I feel like I’m in a bit of a honeymoon period here in Ault/Nunn, so I don’t feel at all burnt out, etc. Usually, this is how it goes in churches. There is a time at the beginning where everyone is excited about a new pastor, but as time goes on, people’s attitudes change (both pastor and congregation). I don’t think this can be avoided. But I’ve always been taught that praying for your “enemies” will do something to your heart, and you won’t see them as enemies for very long if you pray daily for them!
4. I would also say that a lot of the problem lies at the feet of pastors, not the congregants. As pastors, we are called to be leaders. That means we have more responsibility for the state of our churches and the state of our own well-being than we often would like to admit. It takes some hard decisions on our part to do the right thing, even when we feel it won’t be a popular choice.
I didn’t mean to sound judgmental–sorry. I’m having a strong negative response not so much to the statistics but to the entire situation that fuels those statistics, including the part where a pastor who is struggling with some serious temptation has nowhere to turn for help.
When you say “I think most pastors wish they could be real with their congregation, but their congregation won’t let them,” what exactly do you mean? How does a congregation not let the pastor be real? As a congregant I would much rather hear directly from the pastor that he is having a struggle and needs prayers and support than find out after the struggle got the better of him and a lot of damage has been done. But I don’t know how to consistently communicate that…
And, I understand to a point the hesitation with opening up about deep struggles with temptation and sin. I mean, I’m still working up my courage to ask for some meaningful help/support with just figuring out how to keep my home organized and running smoothly from either one of the churches I attend. Last I checked disorganization wasn’t a sin and I’m not the pastor. And yet some really huge mental thing keeps me from actively seeking support. It must be ten times worse for pastors struggling with major sin. What I don’t understand is why it’s so hard for anyone and more to the point how to make it so it is not so hard to ask for help where you need it. I mean isn’t that part of what church is for?
On number two, that relates to my questions on your more recent post–what exactly is the fruit that indicates someone is putting Christ first and growing? What does it really mean to move a church forward? If you are succeeding at this endeavor will you have any way to know that you’re succeeding?
While I’m not about to put you on any figurative pedestal (I really try not to do that to anyone as it’s majorly unfair), I do think so far you’re doing a pretty decent job at it–you have lots of amazing gifts to share and you’re open to God’s will (in whatever form it takes). I also think there’s a lot you don’t know and it’s great that you’re not afraid to ask questions.
You didn’t sound judgmental at all. I think the reason most pastors feel they can’t open up to their congregations is that by-in-large, most churches expect a level of “perfection” from their pastor that they feel they need to live up to. They should have the perfect family, the perfect walk with God, always have the right answers, always have a smile on their face, etc. I don’t think there’s an easy solution to this problem. That being said, I think we have a great atmosphere in our church, where this is not so much of a problem. I hope we can keep that, even as we grow.
I think the best way you can keep yourself off anyone’s pedestal complete with all the unrealistic expectations of having the perfect everything is to continue to allow yourself to be known. I was reading Titus this morning and noticed that one of the qualities for a Bishop is that he be hospitable (1:8), which is simply opening up his home to others. Maybe part of the point of that quality is that someone who invites people into their home and life also invites people to know them, and the better you know someone, the harder it is to think they are or should be perfect.
Wow, those stats were all about five times what I would have guessed. I knew there was a strong underlying current eroding out evangelical foundations, but I didn’t know it was quite that strong.
For years I’ve advocated major structural changes in evangelical churches, but it’s not a popular message. (For most of the people I’ve talked to, it’s completely incomprehensible. The structure they see now, in their minds, *is* church; anything else simply can’t be called by that name.) For example, before you came to Colorado I was a strong proponent of raising up one of the young men in the church as a future pastor and having such a man be mentored for a number of years by other pastors in the area before formally taking the role. I’ve advocated paying the worship team enough to spend a goodly chunk of time writing songs specifically for our church, so we develop our own culture of worship. I’ve advocated a number of other seemingly weird ideas too, knowing perfectly well that no method can guarantee a spiritual leadership.
I’m not sure what to make of the fact that, at every instance when I felt like one of those ideas had a chance of being implemented, the Lord has allowed circumstances in my life that kept me from being able to act on them, be involved in those changes, or follow through on talking to other church members about them. Radical change, if introduced at the wrong time, can do more harm than good, so maybe that’s it: decent idea, poor timing. We’ll see how the Dads&Daughters thing works out. It’s the first time in years I haven’t been yanked away from a ministry idea like that, so hopefully that means it meets with heavenly approval.
Major structural change doesn’t happen easily or quickly most of the time. Probably the most important part is getting leadership of a church on board. It’s the job of leadership to pray and discern if a certain direction is of God. The struggle is when leadership determines that although something may be a good idea in theory, it may not be right for that particular situation. Of course, oftentimes, church leaders make decisions purely based upon what looks good on paper, rather than seeking God about it. This is why it’s so important for church leaders to live spiritual lives!
I’m looking forward to seeing the Dads and Daughters thing taking shape as well!