Since I wrote my last blog post, the conclusion I came to in that post has stuck with me. I think I had a little epiphany when I wrote the last two paragraphs: I must strive to have enough faith in God to believe that He can work through all sorts of situations and people like me that aren’t ideal. Perhaps instead of striving to become a more ideal leader or to make situations more ideal/biblical/effective, I should strive more to place my faith and hope squarely in God, believing that He can do great things in very imperfect situations and through very imperfect people like me. I can’t get away from that thought. I strongly desire to see things become ideal in churches. That’s where my passion lies. It’s ideal if everyone in a local church is on-fire for God–I want to see that happen! It’s ideal if the leadership of a church is unified, passionate, and committed to the Gospel–I want to see that happen! I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I think that God has put those feelings inside of me. The problem comes when I can’t see a way for God to have His way unless those things are in place. I forget that God merely spoke this world into existence–and that He considered that a full-day’s work. After six days of speaking, He felt the need to take a day off to rest, ha! God only has to speak the word, and He has His way. No matter how ideal or depressing a situation is, He squirms His way through and performs a miracle. Whether it is the miracle of life or the miracle of life from the dead, a simple faith in God is all it takes to move mountains. You don’t need this in place or that in place. All you need is God to show up. And He promises to show up where 2 or 3 are gathered in His name. Take a look at the stars at night and let them remind you of everything our God can...

Wow, it’s been over a month since I last blogged. Of course, two of those weeks I was on vacation, but still…it’s been a long break! I’m starting back up with a fairly personal post. Oftentimes, when I go to sleep, negative thoughts surface about the areas of leadership in which I am not excelling. The funny thing is that during the day, I’m not aware of these shortcomings, but at night they come blaring through. The next morning, it’s as if nothing happened the night before, and I can’t even recall what exactly I was thinking as I was trying to fall asleep the night before. At times, I’ve thought “Maybe this is spiritual warfare,” because I often feel discouraged, rather than encouraged to press forward. And the discouragement is pretty heavy. When these thoughts come, it’s not uncommon for me to feel as if someone else would do a better job than me, so why not let someone else better do it? Or to feel as if because of my inadequacies, I’m letting other people down, and they won’t be able to reach their full potential because their leader (me) isn’t doing all he can to help them. At these times, I can see how much better things would be if only I didn’t have certain faults or if I worked harder or if I had other talents or… Like I said, at times I’ve wondered if this is some sort of spiritual attack (and I’m guessing my more “pentecostal” friends may think that’s a no-brainer). While I won’t dismiss that possibility, I’ve been recently made aware that leaders of all kinds (not just pastors or “spiritual” leaders) experience similar thoughts and feelings. I think it may be a manifestation of internal stress that leaders put on themselves without knowing it. For me, it surfaces and reveals itself at night in bed. I also think that the issue is compounded for me, because I tend to be a critical person. Most people think this is a negative trait, but I usually see it as a positive trait. I think things don’t usually get better until we are dissatisfied with how things currently are, and then as a...