It’s the day after taxes were due, and we’re ok for now. That shouldn’t be the case, but it is. When I resigned my part-time job in January, I had nothing lined up to fill the loss of income. Before my resignation, we were already living month to month, with very little wiggle room to adjust our budget. A few times, in fact, we had to borrow from the money we had set aside for taxes to pay for gas in the car or buy groceries for the week. This was the few months before I resigned. Regardless, we had felt a peace two months earlier (November) to resign, which was a little daunting to us on a financial level for many reasons.. First, Christmas was coming up, which was going to be a hard hit for us. Second, income taxes were going to be due in April, and we didn’t have nearly enough resources set aside for what we estimated our taxes to be (I am self-employed, so instead of a nice refund check this time of years, it’s a honkin’ check to the IRS instead). Third, our yearly homeowner’s association dues were due in March. Fourthly, we later found out in December/January that we were expecting another child, which although is a great joy, also introduces further financial strain for the next nine months and beyond. And then there’s all the unexpected stuff that you can’t budget for, but seems to pop up at the most inopportune times. It was our hope that the two months between November and January would give us time to locate supplemental income when the time came to resign. That never happened, but we stepped out in faith anyways. Three months later, it still hasn’t happened. Five months of hoping, praying for additional income within God’s will has been unanswered. But even with a crushing 33% reduction in salary when we were already living paycheck to paycheck, our taxes are paid in full and with no debt (outside of our mortgage) or credit cards! I was convinced that if we didn’t obtain supplemental income by now, this day wouldn’t have arrived. I anticipated we would currently be in the process of foreclosure...

I don’t think it does. I think it may once have had power, but largely it’s fizzling out. I think church growth experts out there recognize this. Simply sharing, spreading, teaching, exploring, reviewing, singing, articulating, living out the Gospel is largely ineffective. It is not enough to draw in droves of new people, and it is not enough to keep existing people from moving on. That’s because the Gospel holds no real power—unless it is met with faith. Without faith, the Gospel is powerless. It is just a theory among other theories to explain the human condition. Not only this, but it is a very distasteful theory. It describes the human condition as literally on a road to hell itself, and that we are all lost sinners. And it only offers one way out–a conversion that ends in utter selflessness where God gets His way, not me. More than this, the necessary, prescribed conversion is specific with regards to Whom you must turn to and what you must turn from. Make no mistake that indeed  turning to Him requires turning away from everything else. Syncretism is not allowed. You cannot serve two masters. Sin is clearly spelled out, as is the way of holiness. He wants all of me. Without faith, this is too demanding for the masses. It is too intolerant of other people’s opinions. It is not relevant within today’s sensibilities. In other words, church leaders are recognizing Jesus was right all along—we have lost our first love. It has grown cold. We are lukewarm at best. Indeed, while the Gospel is becoming distasteful to us, Jesus says that we are becoming distasteful to His own mouth. We need to be entertained. God forbid if we didn’t have a drama–or a video clip–or a funny joke slipped in during the sermon. And if the pastor doesn’t come across as hip, or if the worship team doesn’t look attractive enough, or if the music doesn’t pump me up, or if the service doesn’t move along fast enough, or if the…well, I could go on. Let’s face it–most people don’t really understand the Gospel. If we did, we would be repenting every time we heard it. We would be...

Today was such a horrible day in human history–the day we killed and executed God. If there is anything humans have ever done that would make us deserving of eternal hell, today fits the bill. If anyone needs proof that we are really a depraved people, the fact that we would kill the Son of God, the One who gave us life in creation and gives eternal life freely, demonstrates just how far we have fallen. Humanity cannot say that this day was a good day for our species. It is a paradox that the very event that makes us most deserving of hell is the event that must have happened to free us from it. Who can understand the mind of the Lord? How unsearchable are his ways! I believe God shows us through the cross that salvation cannot come by how moral we are. Salvation came through the most wicked event imaginable. How about for God? Was this a good day for him? He watched as the sons of men willfully and cheerfully destroyed his most precious gift to us. He painfully lost the only son He has ever begotten. God loved the world so much that He gave away his only begotten son. And that’s the only reason why we can call today “good.” Today happened out of God’s love for humanity and to restore all things to himself. As devastating as it was, it was happening for a wonderful purpose obscured to us. Even Jesus’ own disciples didn’t understand until after it all had happened. This was something only Jesus and His Father fully understood. And then, it seems as if Jesus didn’t really fully understand it all either, when He said “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Perhaps at this point in time, only the Father knew full well what He was doing and what was happening. Everyone else was lost–last of all, His Son. The only way today is good is if Jesus’ death must have happened to give us right standing with God. I was reminded this week that Jesus’ death wasn’t enough to give us that gift. He had to be victorious over sin (which he accomplished in...

In a previous post about two months ago, I shared my struggle with holding out for God to come through, instead of complaining or worrying. I contemplated the possibility that throwing one’s hands in the air, giving up, losing faith, or doubting God might be the better approach, even if God rebukes me. That is, if He then comes through like He did for the Israelites when He provided water from a rock, or when Jesus calmed the storm for the disciples. Two months later, my perspective has changed a bit. God still hasn’t come through like I had hoped. My condition hasn’t changed. Yet, my thought now is–well, I’ve made it this far without supernatural water or without the supernatural calming of the storm…perhaps somehow this is where I need to be. If things indeed don’t change, that would mean things get tougher, of course, not better. But this week, I am reflecting on Christ’s last week. It was coming down to the wire. He knew He was about to face His greatest challenge yet. He had lived a life of perfection, resisting temptation all along even when it was tough, always doing the Father’s will. And now He must face the cross, and He prays, “If it is possible to let this cup pass from me, please let it be. But not my will, but yours be done.” And then, interestingly, Jesus says that He could call down legions of angels to rescue Him from the impending cross, but He was choosing to do God’s will instead (Matthew 26:53-54). This prompts an intriguing thought for me: Is it possible that I could end my trial prematurely with a supernatural rescue as well? Is that what the Israelites did when they cried out for water in the desert? Is that what the disciples did when they lost faith in the storm? When you’re so close to the finish line, why mess up everything you’ve endured up to that point? If you’ve endured this far…why give up so late in the game? Even if you’re about to face a more difficult part of your trial, can you go for it anyway? I don’t know if I’m close to the...

I find myself torn between two worlds–I grew up Pentecostal, and while I see the value in expressive worship, something is missing there. It’s like everyone is coming into the same room to have their own personal worship time with God. Everyone else is just there to give them a bigger personal worship experience. And most recently, I’ve been in the Methodist world for the past eight years. Methodists like liturgy, not expressiveness. It’s like everyone is coming together to recite the same thing every Sunday, but are we connecting with God? When I try to converse with Pentecostals about my frustration with their worship services, they think I’m being picky, because everyone is “getting into it,” so what’s the big deal? They’re all connecting with God, right? But my problem is, we’re not doing it together. The only way we’re doing it together is that everyone else at the same time is having their own personal worship experience. They would say, “Isn’t that what it means to be doing it together?” The best way I can describe how this feels is this: It’s like everyone meeting together in the same computer lab to be on Facebook at the same time. Sure, we’re all on Facebook at the same time, but we’re not really doing anything meaningful with one another. I know it’s not that extreme, but that’s often how I feel in Pentecostal worship services. Everyone is pretty much locking themselves away, trying to not let anyone else distract them, so they can have some sort of personal experience with God. I wanna say, “Didn’t Jesus say to go get a room?” Or maybe it was a closet. But when I’m in Methodist worship circles, I end up longing for more of the Pentecostal side of things, because it feels like no one is really connecting to God in any deep, meaningful way. We all say the same lines, stand up here, sit down there. We’ve done this for so many years that we have replaced enjoying God with enjoying a ritual. The liturgy seems only there to make us feel like we did the right things and said the right things, and all at the right time...

Had a great time with extended family celebrating Rachel’s third birthday today. I can remember when Naomi turned three, and I thought she was becoming a “big girl.” Is she really turning seven this year? I’m very grateful to have such a wonderful family. The best wife and the two most delightful children in the world. No matter what life throws our way, it is always good to have days that remind you of the most important things. As important as my family is, they must be second-place to God. I’ve been reminded recently that we are not guaranteed to always have our families with us, as difficult as that scenario may sound. While today was a great day indeed, I remind myself that even if I didn’t have my family, I would still have Jesus. This is something I am always learning. Could I find joy if I lost everything but Christ? I try to avoid considering that reality, for fear that I might just have to face such a drastic loss at some point. I think about people around the world and throughout history who were separated from their family through persecution because of the cause of Christ. How did they manage sitting in a jail cell all alone for the remainder of their life? Did the rest of the family still cling to Christ after they watched their father/husband burned to death in front of their eyes? How? I realize how weak my faith is in comparison. I’m proud of who Rachel is becoming, even though the things she thinks make her such a “big girl” at three years old make me chuckle inside. It really isn’t about what she can do now, but simply that she’s my daughter. Sometimes, I think I’m becoming a “big boy” for how I’ve grown in my faith, although I’m probably just turning three. Even though I’m reminded that I don’t yet have the faith or maturity of those who have gone before me (key word: yet), perhaps God sees me the same way I see my big girl. Happy Birthday, “Miss Suck-A-Thumb”! Love, “Chief...