The past several weeks, my mind has been too preoccupied with life circumstances to have the energy to blog. I am hoping things are settling down for a bit!

When putting Naomi to bed one night this past week, she told me that Sunday was her favorite day of the week, because we get to go to church and learn about Jesus. Woohoo! Then she looked at me seriously and told me that one of the stories she learned about Jesus is that He cried–but she was quick to qualify that it only happened one time. “Oh yes,” I said. “There’s one verse in the Bible that tells us that Jesus cried. When His friend Lazarus died, it says that ‘Jesus wept.’” But then she corrected me. There was another time! When Jesus was “praying on a rock”! I immediately realized she was talking about Jesus praying in the garden, just before He was arrested. And that time, He was crying so deeply that it appeared as if there were tears of blood coming down His face. How could I have forgotten the other time Jesus cried?

Hebrews 5:7-8 tells us that Jesus had to learn obedience through suffering. When Jesus prayed and cried asking God if there were any other way, apparently there wasn’t.

One of the things I’ve been thinking about recently is God’s willingness to let His Church flounder so much. Much of my motivation as a pastor comes from my desire to see a church that is abandoned to God–and not superficially. There are lots of churches that have “passionate” worship services, but most of those churches also tend to have an attitude of “Look how great our church is.”

In contrast, I want to see a church in America have the same qualities I imagine a persecuted church has: a real nuts-and-bolts devotion to Christ. I have a feeling that if you take away all the trappings of those “passionate” churches in America, much of the passion will also be lost.

But what is the likelihood of finding a church with the strengths of the persecuted church in a land of self-absorption? Sometimes I feel like I have more passion for God’s church than He does. I know that can’t be true. After all, for all the supposed “passion” I have, what am I really doing about my own faults and lack of passion for God? But I question: why did He let the church become so corrupt during the Dark Ages? Why does He allow the church in America today to remain so screwed up? I don’t want Him to strike us all down with lightning or anything. I just wish He were a little more proactive.

Some might argue: What more can He do? He already sent His Son to die for our sins and rise again. He already gave us His Spirit. Their argument would boil down to: God gave us free will, and He can’t force us to follow Him.

I get that. I guess it just amazes me that God is so patient with us, even when we are consistently getting it wrong. For the sake of those who don’t yet know Him, I would think He would do more to ensure that His Church live faithfully.

Here’s one of the arguments I’ve heard for a Christian’s belief in the inerrancy/inspiration of Scripture: We feel that the determining process of what is valid Scripture or not was so important to our faith that God wouldn’t have let that process become screwed up. Well, isn’t it just as important that His Church live it? Why does He let the church get so screwed up? Doesn’t that severely, negatively affect the eternal state of those who remain lost?

I am thankful that although I myself am screwed up, God doesn’t just strike me down. I am thankful that He is indeed patient with me. I guess I’m just ready for God to firmly push us into a deeper faith. I’m contemplating if there’s any other way to be pushed by God other than suffering. There seemed to be no other way for Jesus. If there is no other way, shouldn’t we prefer to go through a time of true suffering in the next few years over remaining in the half-hearted faith we’ve grown accustomed to?

Maybe I shouldn’t be hoping for things to settle down for a bit?