In a previous post about two months ago, I shared my struggle with holding out for God to come through, instead of complaining or worrying. I contemplated the possibility that throwing one’s hands in the air, giving up, losing faith, or doubting God might be the better approach, even if God rebukes me. That is, if He then comes through like He did for the Israelites when He provided water from a rock, or when Jesus calmed the storm for the disciples.

Two months later, my perspective has changed a bit. God still hasn’t come through like I had hoped. My condition hasn’t changed. Yet, my thought now is–well, I’ve made it this far without supernatural water or without the supernatural calming of the storm…perhaps somehow this is where I need to be.

If things indeed don’t change, that would mean things get tougher, of course, not better. But this week, I am reflecting on Christ’s last week. It was coming down to the wire. He knew He was about to face His greatest challenge yet. He had lived a life of perfection, resisting temptation all along even when it was tough, always doing the Father’s will. And now He must face the cross, and He prays, “If it is possible to let this cup pass from me, please let it be. But not my will, but yours be done.”

And then, interestingly, Jesus says that He could call down legions of angels to rescue Him from the impending cross, but He was choosing to do God’s will instead (Matthew 26:53-54). This prompts an intriguing thought for me: Is it possible that I could end my trial prematurely with a supernatural rescue as well? Is that what the Israelites did when they cried out for water in the desert? Is that what the disciples did when they lost faith in the storm?

When you’re so close to the finish line, why mess up everything you’ve endured up to that point? If you’ve endured this far…why give up so late in the game? Even if you’re about to face a more difficult part of your trial, can you go for it anyway?

I don’t know if I’m close to the “finish line” of my piddly, small trial, and who knows if I’m about to face the most challenging part of it or not, but regardless…instead of saying, “Any time now, God!” maybe I need to say, “Any time, anywhere, any way that You desire to lead me, Lord, that’s what I will choose.”