What Exactly Am I Trying To Do?

The past month, the leadership team at our church has been going through a time of praying and seeking God as to how He wants us to move forward as a church. It’s been exciting to see God working in all our lives. I see with eyes of faith what our church is capable of in the power of the Holy Spirit.

In earthly terms, many people would probably dismiss us. We are small in number, and we don’t have anything “exceptional” or “noteworthy” going on. To put it plainly, if our churches explode in numerical growth in the next couple of years, there is nothing to put your finger on to say why it happened. It would have to be a move of God’s Spirit–like the stuff you read about in the Bible.

And I guess that’s what I feel I’m being tested to believe can happen. I’m tired of standing around while people try to play the church game. I’m frustrated that so many church leaders can be simply concerned with church growth, and then put a spiritual spin on it, to make it look like it’s a “God thing.” Or that leaders can feel confident they can achieve a successful church by following this method or that one.

I don’t want that to happen here. Yet, I’m tempted like everyone else. That’s when I need to go deep, and test if I’m for real or not. I know myself and I know my church. We aren’t anything special. I’m not a gifted preacher; we don’t pride in ourselves in being talented at anything. Of course, we really don’t know these things yet, as we’ve not explored them.

But I’m also not so sure that trying to explore them is the way to go. Deep down inside, I want to set up an experiment. An experiment where a church puts their entire faith on God and Scripture–on the power of the Gospel and the Holy Spirit. And then prove that all this modern thinking about successful churches is bogus. And more importantly, prove that we can be, and must be faithful to God, and that He is a faithful God himself.

I want us to return to a simple, yet profound, trust in God that really steps out in obedience to what God is calling us to deep down on the inside. Can we turn off the noise all around us, and step out blindly in uncharted territory? It really isn’t uncharted, as we have the example of the early church in Scripture. But for our time…uncharted. Just what exactly might happen if we went in with both feet with no way to turn back? Would we suffer the embarrassment of being a fool, or would God come through? If God won’t come through, then this is all just a game, and I don’t want any part of it.

I don’t believe that’s what’s going to happen. It just can’t happen that way. That would destroy everything I believe in. If Jesus is real, and the Gospel is what it claims to be, the spiritual life in all its fullness awaits.