Today has been the worst day of my fast. I was hoping that wouldn’t be the case, since everyone says that day 3 is the worst. I thought the worst was behind me…
Regarding hunger pains, this day has definitely been easy. But the problem is in my mind. While I don’t feel much, if any, physical hunger sensations, I’m just plain tired of not eating. I just want to be able to eat. And there are specific things I’d just love to have right now:
- pizza (I never want pizza!)
- scrambled eggs
- sausage
- Tostitos (I never crave Tostitos!)
- a nice big sandwich
- any kind of meat dish
- quesadillas
I could go on.
Surprisingly, I couldn’t care for any desserts (even ice cream, my favorite food) or fast food of any kind. Then again, I’m not a huge fast food fan, anyway. It’s a last resort for me. But it’s weird to me that certain food stands out to me right now–there’s no rhyme or reason I can see.
I wonder if this is similar to temptation in the Garden of Eden. The Bible says that Eve saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, she ate it. I think I can relate. There’s nothing wrong with eating food, and it seems so desirable right now, even though I’m not physically hungry.
Perhaps the saying “you don’t know what you have until you lose it” fits the situation. Just like when you get sick and you wish so much that you would return to health and be able to breathe easily in your nose again. At that point, you realize what a blessing it is to be in health, and to be able to fall asleep at night with ease. Right now, I realize what a blessing it is to be able to eat and enjoy food. I look forward to being able to enjoy it again, but realize how far away that time is…at times I feel at the edge of just caving in. I need to find strength.
**On another note, we got a Wii for Christmas. I weighed myself on the Wii Fit just before starting my fast, and I weighed myself on the Wii Fit again tonight. It says I’ve lost 9.3 pounds. I don’t think I look any skinnier than usual, except that I have noticed my stomach has shrunk considerably. Most of that is just water weight, and I’ll regain it back when I end the fast. I was just surprised how dramatic it was–I didn’t think I had that much weight to spare! 🙂